


Biting the Bullet

by madina



Series: N.B.GAY. [5]
Category: Men's Basketball RPF, Real Person Fiction, Sports RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - Basketball, Angst, Confessions, Established Relationship, Everyone Is Gay, Getting Back Together, Healing, Healthy Relationships, M/M, Post-Break Up, Queer Themes, Relationship Advice, nbgay
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-15
Updated: 2021-02-15
Packaged: 2021-03-17 00:47:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,052
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29463000
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/madina/pseuds/madina
Summary: Kevin Durant and Russell Westbrook have to come to terms with what went wrong and what ultimately led to Kevin leaving for Golden State.Recalling how Kevin and Russ began the rebuild into the couple referenced in "Some Friendly Advice" and "I Hate to Lose but Love to Watch You Win."
Relationships: James Harden & Russell Westbrook, Kevin Durant/Russell Westbrook
Series: N.B.GAY. [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2118921
Comments: 6
Kudos: 18





	Biting the Bullet

**Author's Note:**

> I was unsatisfied with the title and description. Sorry! lol

_NBA All-Star Weekend - New Orleans, Louisiana - Feb. 17-19, 2017._

  
  


Seeing Kevin being chummy with Steph Curry is incredibly hard to stomach for Russ. He knew this first All-Star break was going to be a bitch to deal with. He thought he had mentally prepared himself for this. However, seeing Kevin taking photos, doing interviews and events, and doing PR for the Golden State Warriors with Steph, Klay and Draymond was beyond anything reasonable he could’ve equipped himself for.

“Russ.” James immediately comes to his side in a show of support. His eyes connect with the picture those four make and he won’t hide the disdain he has for that squad, namely Kevin, on Russ’ behalf. His loyalty is boundless. 

“Hey.” Russ forces a grimace on his face and sniffs the emotions away. “I was looking for you.”

James white teeth are bright in the midst of his dark beard. “Yeah, I had to do some PR shit but I’m here now. Do you wanna get something to eat in town or here at the hotel?”

Russ sees the excuse to get the fuck out of there and couldn’t appreciate Jim more. “No clubs.”

Jim wraps his arm around Russ’ shoulders casually and immediately prepares himself for this discussion. “How can I persuade you?”

Russ in turn wraps his arm around Jim’s waist and immediately pinches his meaty side. “Can I persuade you to slow down on them beignets?” 

Jim laughs goodheartedly. “No. No, you can’t. Or the gumbo. Or the jambalaya for that matter. Don’t even try prying crawfish from my hands unless they are cold and dead.”

Russell enjoys the ridiculousness and absurdity of his friend too much not to laugh. “Dammit, Jim! Now you got me cravin’ a po’ boy.”

Jim grins and damn near performs a victory dance but fist bumps instead. “Fuck yeah! Po’ boys it is. We should ask AD what’s a good spot around here. You seen him yet?”

“Nah.” Russ replies, shaking his head. “I haven’t. He’s busy as hell though.” 

He’s alarmed when he feels Jim’s beard all over the side of his face and then he shushes him. “Don’t look now but those Golden Boys are talking ‘bout you. I dunno what they’re saying but it looks like Steph is trying to push him to come talk to you.”

It’s true. Russ can see from the corner of his eye that Steph, Klay and Kevin are talking with attempts at subtle gestures towards him. They’re gathered around the hotel’s elevator, probably waiting for Draymond to join them.

Russ’ breath catches in his throat. “The fuck? Why does he need Curry to tell him to come talk to me? If he don’t wanna talk to me, that’s fine. I ain’t finna lose sleep over it.”

“I dunno why Steph cares unless KD’s been half of a pain in the ass as you.” Jim muses thoughtfully. “He didn’t sign up for that.”

Russ snorts. “Yeah, right. They signed up for a fucking cakewalk to the Finals.”

His friend gasps, clutching his chest playfully. “Excuse me, I would like to say that I’d put up a fight.”

Russ giggles and shakes his head but pats his friend on the arm consolingly. “Of course, Jim. That being said… Warriors in 5.”

The choking sound coming from Jim is too hilarious to respond to with words. They end up both in hysterics, leaning on each other and even clutching onto each other’s arms for support. Jim swats at Russ’ arms and Russ laughs harder.

An awkward laugh interrupts their joy. “What’s so funny?” 

Russ and Jim had been too distracted by their conversation that they hadn’t noticed that Kevin and Steph were walking towards them and could’ve avoided them if they were more vigilant.

Jim recovers first. “Oh nothing. You had to be here, you know?”

“Ah gotcha. An inside joke.” Steph shares an indulging grin with them. “Love those. Kevin’s always out of the loop with the ones in our locker room.” 

Kevin’s attempt at a smile is so painfully awkward. It reminds them all why his face is often used as a meme. He and Steph exchange a glance, and Steph urges him with a toothy grin and points with his eyes to Russ. His pretty green eyes clearly say _do something, say something! Anything!_

James wraps his arm around Russell, protective. “Russ and I have inside jokes that go all the way back to childhood.”

Russ appreciates the warmth Jim’s body provides but it feels like his entire body is covered with ice. He desperately avoids Kevin’s eyes. There’s a tightening sensation in his throat and he can almost hear his heart racing in his ears. He knows his face has a flush to it and his posture is wound tight. 

He hates this entire situation. He hates that he has to play nice in public and endure this torture. He hates that he wants to run away like a coward. He hates that he’s in this position and that Kevin put him here.

“I think we’re gonna go and make some more.” James begins. “New Orleans is the perfect place for more memories, right, Russ?”

Russ clears his throat and collects himself. “Yeah. Fo’sho.”

“Oh, okay! Are you guys going to the French Quarter?” Steph asks. His motive is clear. He wants to keep them here. He’s stalling. “There’s so much to do and see there.”

“Yeah. Probably.” James replies, tersely. His arm tightens around Russell and he forces a grand smile on his face. “We're gonna head out. See you later.”

“Wait!” Steph reaches out borderline hysterically but doesn’t quite grasp the arm of either Jim or Russ. “I just wanna say that you’re a shoe in for MVP, Russ. You’re making history and it’s so cool to watch. Averaging a triple-double? Nobody’s done that since David Robinson, right? That’s so wild.”

Jim’s eyes are so wide with confusion and fascination. He’s never seen Steph this discombobulated before. He’s truly pulling out all the stops to continue this conversation. In this type of situation, he knows his natural charm won’t cut it. It’s unbearingly awkward and incredibly fascinating. He would laugh if it wasn’t so clearly inappropriate. 

Russell’s in shock that Steph’s got that much good to say about him. “Uh, thanks. You know, I just do whatever the team needs me to do.”

“That’s what I admire about you, Russ.” Steph says sincerely. “You’re so humble even when you’re averaging a triple-dub!”

 _“Oh-kay.”_ Jim intones while forcing humorless chuckles. “I am starving. I haven’t seen Russ in a minute and I think we--”

“Kevin’s always watching your highlights.” Steph panics. He has the subtlety of an elephant in a china shop and it’s frankly incredible he pretends otherwise. “He records your games if he can’t watch them.”

“Yo, what the fuck, Steph?” Kevin hisses, his nostrils flaring dangerously. 

Steph grins, ignoring Kevin’s anger. “I kinda think he misses OKC. Don’t you, Kev?”

Kevin’s eyes connect with his and he can feel the moment he’s sucked in. Russell can’t make his feet move. Their eyes are locked together and if they were laying in bed, sweaty and sated, he knows that their breathing and heart beats would synchronize. As they always did. 

Russell relaxes his jaw and can hear how the bones crack. “Yeah, well, he’s more than welcome to visit the city he left.” 

“Jesus, Russ. I didn’t leave the _city_ . I left the _team._ ” Kevin emphasizes for the millionth time, over-rationalizing.

“Uh, the team’s kinda _in_ the city, dude.” Steph is appalled by that logic. “The _fans_ are in the city.”

“Thank you, Steph.” Russ sends the man a sardonic grin, which sends a wave of dread through Stephen Curry. “Maybe he’ll listen to you.”

“You know damn well what I mean.” Kevin narrows his eyes that refuse to leave Russell’s face. “Maybe James can explain because he left OKC too and maybe you’ll listen to him.”

_“Dude.”_

“Really, Kevin?”

“Don’t drag me into this, KD.”

They’re all talking over each other so that nobody can understand what anybody is saying. 

“I don’t have time for this.” Russell raises both hands and almost creates an invisible barrier. “And I’m not about to make time for it. Let’s go, Jim.” Russ doesn’t wait for him and walks away.

Jim reaches into his jacket pocket and pulls on a pair of shades. He pushes them up the bridge of his nose with his middle finger and grins at Kevin. “See ya ‘round, KD.”

Kevin glares at him. “Real mature, asshole.”

Jim just blows a kiss and does a little finger wave at Steph. “Bye, boys.” 

Steph watches as Jim saunters away casually and then looks over at Kevin before shaking his head in disgust. “Jesus. How the fuck are you gonna get Russ back if you’re gonna shit the bed like that?”

Kevin’s still watching Jim and Russell walking side-by-side out of the hotel lobby. 

“Soooo? How did it go?” Klay comes in with an excited grin, looking for an update but then looks at Steph’s face and Kevin’s desperate, longing look on his. “Jesus, what did I miss?”

  
  
  


\--------

  
  
  


The po’ boys were delicious, not that Russell would know because he barely touched his. He wasn’t good company either but Jim took care of everything. He understood and adjusted. He didn’t push him, especially in public. He made sure they weren’t disturbed by eager and zealous fans in town for the game. 

The biggest thing was that he didn’t ask Russell to make a decision. He didn’t ask them where they should eat or what they should do or where they should go. 

“I’ve let you be in silence for the entire afternoon.” Jim begins and pushes forward Russ’ favorite alcoholic drink to him. They’re chilling in the living room of the house he rented for the week. “It’s time to say something, Russ. Here’s something that’ll loosen those lips.”

Russ is staring at the drink and before they both know it, he downs the drink in a couple of gulps. He sets the glass down and allows a sigh to pass through his lips. 

Jim somehow, some way, finds the humor in this. “Damn. I dunno if I’m jealous or horrified that love’s got you this fucked up.”

Russell scowls as his friend is snickering at his misery. “Fuck outta here.”

“Steph was way outta pocket.” Jim starts, seriously. “He had no right to get involved, don’t matter what his intentions were.” 

They don’t say anything for a while. It feels like a couple of minutes. Jim is about to probe him some more when Russ clears his throat. “I dunno what’s more fucked up. The fact that he needs Steph Curry to bully him into talking to me or Steph starting to feel sorry for me.” 

“I think Steph realizes that Kevin isn’t making it easy for you especially when he’s acting like a dick.” Jim considers his words very carefully. “KD’s being difficult and Steph’s realizing that he can’t fix this. It ain’t his to fix.”

“I don’t give a fuck about no Steph Curry.” Russ dismisses the thought. “I don’t care what the fuck he thinks of me. It’s the fact that Steph Curry has to fucking embarrass himself because Kevin can’t stomach the thought of talking to me. He can’t say shit to me.”

“What do you want him to say?”Jim inquires. “Nah, seriously. What do you want him to say?”

Russ looks down at his hands and rubs the joints. “I don’t want to have to hear from Steph Curry that he misses OKC. I want to hear that from him.”

“He ain’t told you he misses you?” Jim demands. “Jesus fucking Christ.”

“I ain’t give him the chance.” Russ says. “I blocked him on everything. I changed my number. I changed the locks. I cut him off.”

“I think it's time we be honest with each other.” Jim settles next to his friend. He places his hand on Russell’s bare thigh and gives a tender, comforting squeeze. “You haven’t wanted to talk about what happened and I get that. I left it alone for the most part. But it’s clearly still hurting you and if you haven’t told me, you haven’t told nobody.”

Jim remembers having to hold Russell while he soaked his shirt with his tears after the news dropped that Kevin was going to Golden State. 

Russell closes his eyes and braces himself for whatever Jim is about to say. 

James takes a deep breath and lets out a deep sigh. “Look, I ain’t finna defend his actions but we both know that you’re not hurt because he joined the Warriors. Much as it pains me to say this, we both know that Kevin was already halfway out the door before y’all blew that 3-1 lead last year. Getting to the Finals and probably losing to LeBron and Kyrie wasn’t gonna change that, Russ.” 

Russ’ jaw is so tightly bound, he can feel how hard his teeth are grinding. The burning starts in the corner of his eyes and he tries desperately to stop the tears from forming and eventually falling. 

“Oh man.” James immediately regrets bringing it up when he sees how hard Russell is struggling not to cry. “I’m sorry, Russ. I shouldn’t have opened my big fat mouth.” 

Russ reaches up to wipe the tears gathering in his eyelashes. “No, you’re right. Him going to Golden State wasn’t the problem. They were favored in that series and in the Finals. That isn’t what pisses me off.”

Jim treads carefully but candidly. “Is it because he left you and replaced you with Steph Curry?” 

A shaky breath leaves Russ’ mouth. “I can’t even be mad that he chose him, ya know? Everybody would choose Steph over me. Shit, even I would.”

“There’s an argument to be made for you, Russ.” Jim leans over and squeezes his best friend’s shoulder. “A big, _huge_ argument.”

Russ takes the comfort and closes his eyes. His breathing is shaky and wet. He knows his eyes are a puffy mess. “He tossed me aside without looking back. He tossed what we built aside for a fuckin’ cakewalk to the Finals. And I get it, I really do--” Russell eyes begin to overflow with an onslaught of tears. 

“Who wouldn’t run at the first chance to play with Steph Curry? To play for Steve Kerr? To play in The Bay? To play for multiple chips? Who can say no to that? Who can say no to building the fuckin’ Dream Team?” Russell is damn near inconsolable by the end of his rant. “Who wouldn’t toss Russell Westbrook aside and the bum ass Thunder for the 73-9 Warriors?”

Russell presses his palms into his hands, as if the applied pressure has any chance of stopping the tears. “He didn’t even give me a chance to beg him to stay.”

“Fuck him.” Jim seethes and grips his friend’s wrists, pulling them away from his eyes. “Fuck him. You shouldn’t have to beg him to consider how you’d feel if he walked out on you and what you guys built.” 

Russ agrees, but he isn’t being completely honest. “I never told you this. I mean, I was gonna tell you but things didn’t go according to plan.”

“...Alright?”

Russ hates how the tears keep on coming. “Last All-Star break Kevin asked me to marry him and I said ‘no, not until we win the Finals’ and we never made it that far.”

“Russ…” 

“I was so obsessed with winning, so obsessed with triple-doubles… I was a huge pain in the ass towards him, Jim. I drove him away. He separates business and pleasure but I don’t. I can’t. I never have.” Russ confesses. “I drove him away to Steph Curry and the fuckin’ Warriors. Steph Curry with his corny dance moves, big ass smile, lame jokes… who’s more fun and exciting and not such a hard ass.”

“Shit.” Jim sighs. “Russ, c’mon, you can’t blame yourself. He didn’t have to leave the way he did. He coulda talked to you, tried to work shit out, not just walk away.”

“Yeah.” Russ rubs his temples with his thumb and index finger of his right hand. “I know.”

“And let me just say something right now, Steph’s nowhere near Kevin’s type. He might be benefiting from that shiny new toy effect but even if Kevin left in a better way than he did, he wasn’t going to cheat on you.” Jim insists strongly. “And Steph wouldn’t cheat on Klay, for that matter.”

Russ was oddly comforted by that. It was true after all. Steph and Klay were so ridiculously happy and in love it was sickening. Kevin’s probably getting inspired and wants a relationship as seamless and uncomplicated as theirs. 

“Do you think you and Kevin can fix this?” Jim wonders aloud. “Do you want to?” 

“Don’t answer that right now. Really think about it. Sleep on it.” His friend says before Russell can answer. “I know it hurts like hell because you love and miss him but don’t get back with him because you want the pain to stop. It won’t. You’ll just grow to resent each other and cause more unnecessary pain. So really, really think about it.”

Russell nods. “OK.”

Jim nods in satisfaction. “Good. Now, are we gonna go to the Dunk Contest or are we skipping it this year?”

“Let’s skip it.” Russ replies quickly. “Please?”

“You got it.” Jim agrees easily. “Just like I’m about to get those beignets.”

“James Edward Harden, Jr.!” Russ scolds. “You fat ass.”

“Ooh, calling me by my government name now?” Jim teases. “Did you not want some to heal your broken heart or not?”

Russ growls threateningly. “You had better share.” 

Jim is smug. “That’s what I thought.” 

Russ’ eyes soften as Jim types away at his phone looking for a bakery that’ll deliver. His eyes are crusty and red, his cheeks have tear tracks, but his heart is full of affection for his best friend. 

“Love you, Jim.”

Jim looks up from his phone and smiles. “I love you, too, Russ.”

“Anything more than a dozen and we will spend all of tomorrow morning working out.” Russell threatens, narrowing his eyes at his friend suspiciously. 

“I’ll take my chances.” Jim smirks. “Do you want another drink?”

Russ scoffs. “You are not getting me drunk so I’ll be hungover tomorrow.”

Jim quirks an eyebrow, challenging. “Is that a no?”

Russ glares at his friend incredulously. “Where’s the alcohol?”

Jim laughs.

  
  
  
  


\-----------------

  
  
  
  


Russ stumbles to his hotel room sometime after midnight. His mind was fuzzy and he was bone tired but he wasn’t drunk. Jim miraculously cut him off pretty expeditiously. It wouldn’t look good if either of them showed up hungover to the All-Star Game. 

He nearly shits himself when he sees Kevin on his couch watching television. “How the fuck did you get in here!?”

Kevin’s clutching at his chest. “Jesus, Russ. You scared the shit outta me.”

“Me?” Russ demands incredulously. “You’re not supposed to be in here!” 

Kevin sighs, reaches to his left for the remote so he can turn off the television.

“I’m glad you enjoyed the TV but now it’s time for you to get the fuck out.” Russ points to the door. “I can’t fucking believe you broke into my room. Are you insane?”

Kevin’s cheeks are flushed. “Uh… I didn’t know where you were gonna be and you blocked me so I couldn’t call you.”

Russ hates how his heart stutters in his chest at how bashful Kevin looks. He has no right to look that fucking adorable when he’s violating his privacy. “And you thought it was a good idea to break into my room?”

“I didn’t break into your room.” Kevin reaches into his jacket pocket and pulls out a hotel room keycard. “I used this.”

“You are trespassing unless I invite you in here. You’re lucky I’m not fucking interested in seeing your ass get arrested.” Russ glares at him like he’s the biggest fucking idiot. “Are you insane? If this was anybody else’s room!”

“I double checked it was yours!” Kevin insists. “I paid off the chick at the front desk so I could get a key to your room.” 

“You are fucking crazy.” 

Kevin’s face feels like it’s caught on fire but he clears his throat. “I needed to see you.”

“Were you seriously going to wait here all night?” Russ questions, ignoring how his heart squeezes in his chest. He refuses to process what he just said.

Kevin appears nervous. His lips tremble. “If that’s what it took.” 

Russell clenches his fists at his sides. “I need you to leave.”

“Russ-”

Russ walks over to the bedroom, an air of finality in the air. “I’m going to bed. See yourself out.” 

“You can’t keep avoiding me forever.” Kevin calls after him. 

“Oh yes, I can.” Russ replies over his shoulder. “Watch me.”

“When are you gonna stop punishing me?” Kevin demands furiously. “When, Russ?”

Russ growls under his breath and walks back out of the room. _“I’m_ punishing _you?_ Are you serious, Kevin? You gonna stand right there and say that with a straight fuckin’ face?”

“I’ve tried _everything_ to reach out to you. I’ve tried everything to get you to talk to me. I even sent shit to your house in LA! I was making myself look _stupid_ trying to reach you--”

 _“I’m_ the one making _you_ look stupid!?” Russ yells, appalled. “You know who looks stupid? Me! I look stupid having to sit up there for the world to see as I watch you ride off into the fuckin’ sunset with Steph Curry and the fuckin’ Warriors while I’m being clowned for being left behind! You think I look cute when I’m being asked why you left, how do I feel about all the success you’re getting, if I’m happy for you and what I could’ve done better to make you stay!? And you have the _nerve_ to get upset over getting blocked!?” 

“It’s more than being blocked, Russ!” Kevin says. “It’s being ignored!”

“What do you want from me?” Russ yells exasperated. “You wanted me to act like everything was fine? That you didn’t just leave? Were we supposed to pretend like we weren’t broken? Smile for the cameras and fake it?”

“I was asking for your support, Russ.” Kevin answers. “We always said we would support one another.”

“Oh, don’t use that against me.” Russ snarls, walking towards Kevin and pushing his index finger in the middle of Kevin’s chest. “That didn’t include you fucking off to Golden State.”

“What the hell was I supposed to do?” Kevin looks down at Russ’ face and his heart is racing in his chest at Russ’ touch. “You checked out after we lost that series. You weren’t talking to me. I thought you were going to tell me that it was over, not after we collapsed like that.” 

A sharp gasp tears through Russ’ throat. _“What?”_

Kevin backs away from the shorter man. “I asked you to marry me and you said not until we won the Finals. I couldn’t believe you wanted a championship ring more than getting a wedding ring. The more important ring. You were so obsessed with winning, with getting triple-doubles… it was all that mattered to you and when we failed… when I failed…”

“Kevin. You wanted us to win the Finals too. You wanted to win a ring with me.” Russ whispers, his eyes welling up with tears. Kevin knows there are tears cascading down his cheeks. “I just wanted us to have both.”

“Yeah, I did. But I planned that proposal for months.” Kevin smiles wistfully. “I thought… I dunno what I thought. But I didn’t expect you to say no.”

Russ wants to wipe away the tears on Kevin’s cheeks but he knows he has no right to touch his face, let alone comfort him from the pain he’s causing him. 

“I didn’t say no to you because I didn’t love you, Kevin.” Russ replies hoarsely. “Basketball and you were my everything… my why… I can’t separate the two like you can. Basketball was my first love and it led me to you and we fell in love on the court first and I just… I wanted us to have both.”

Kevin brings his hands up to Russell’s face and immediately brings their lips together. It’s hardly romantic but Kevin had to kiss him. Russ’ hands end up on his wrists, his grip firm and his mouth feverish against Kevin’s.

Kevin pulls away slowly, his breath is shaky and the desire to kiss Russell is increasing by the minute. “Why didn’t you tell me that?”

Russ closes his eyes, trying to compel the tears to stop but the stinging persists. Kevin’s thumbs catch the tears rolling down his cheeks. “I’m not good at putting it into words. I thought I was showing you with my actions. I thought I was showing you how committed I was to our future and success with putting everything on the line. I didn’t expect for you to toss me aside.”

Kevin’s fingers drop from Russ’ faces in horror. “Is that what you believe?”

“How could I not?” Russ retorts. “You tossed aside everything we built and never looked back. And I get it. I mean, they made you an offer you couldn’t refuse, right? You get to play with Steph Curry, live in The Bay and win rings. Who’s saying no to that?”

“I should’ve.” Kevin confesses. “I should’ve gone ‘bout it differently.”

“Playing with the Golden boys isn’t what it’s cracked up to be?” Russ asks, vindication settling in his belly. 

“No.” Kevin replies solemnly. “None of them are you.”

“Of course not.” Russell says. “That’s why you chose them.”

Kevin shuts his eyes and feels the blow of that statement reverberate throughout his body. “That isn’t why I chose them, Russ.”

“If they were like me, you would’ve stayed.” Russ responds emotionlessly. “No use leaving if you’re just getting more of the same. You wanted something I couldn’t give you.”

“And what’s that?”

“What you always wanted, Kevin.” Russ’ voice cracks. “All business, no pleasure.”

Those plans were instantly derailed when they fell in love, when Kevin Durant fell head over heels in love for Russell Westbrook and never looked back. 

Kevin is ashamed. He wants to deny it but Russ would be pissed at him even attempting to try and lie to him. He doesn’t want to lie. He doesn’t want their wires to be crossed anymore. 

Kevin starts to cry. “I _love_ you, Russ.” He pleads.

Goosebumps erupt all over Russ’ arms and there’s almost a ringing in his ears. Russ takes his hand and cups Kevin’s face, bringing his face up.

Their eyes meet and Russ nods. “I know.” 

“I wish…”

“Me, too.” Russ smiles sadly and caresses Kevin’s cheek with his thumb. “More than anything.”

“Can we fix this?” Kevin asks, pleading, kissing Russ’ hand desperately. “I’ll do anything.”

Russ believes him and treasures the feel of his mouth on his palm. “We won’t ever be the same, Kev.”

Kevin shudders against his hand and lets out a heavy breath. “That’s OK. ‘Cause ‘same’ won’t work this time.”

Russ reaches upwards with his other hand. Kevin leans into the touch, shivering at the sensation of Russ’ skin on his again after so long. “I’m so sorry, Kevin. I’m so sorry I can’t be what you need.”

Kevin bites back a sob, frantically kissing Russ’ skin. “You’re everything I want, Russ. Everything.”

Russ’ throat hurts from the persistent clenching of his jaw. “You’re the love of my life, Kevin. That’ll never change.”

Kevin’s eyes search Russ’ face purposefully, his gaze is tender and sad. 

He leans in and Russ meets him halfway. 

  
  
  
  


\----------

  
  
  
  


Steph is corralling his teammates, much to their collective annoyance that is more to do with their hangovers than Steph’s pushiness. 

“Yo, KD.” Steph calls his tallest teammate over. There’s a lost look on his face that’s accompanied with dark bags under his eyes. He suspects there’s some puffiness there but he can’t be sure because Kevin puts on a pair of sunglasses before he can investigate.

Kevin is rolling his suitcase behind him. “I’m here.” His voice is croaky and he really needs to get a drink in him. 

“You good?” Steph asks softly. “You didn’t come back to our floor until well past 1AM.” 

Kevin doesn’t quite know how to answer that honestly. “I’m ready to head back.”

Klay snorts, throwing his arm around Steph’s shoulder. “You ain’t the only one.”

“He misses Rocco.” Steph stage whispers. “Desperately.”

Klay pouts dramatically. “It’s not fair I can’t bring him.”

Steph kisses his cheek. “Yes, dear.” 

Kevin chuckles at their antics. “Funny.”

Draymond looks absolutely miserable and Kevin, frankly, finds it hilarious. “This humidity got me fucked up. Can’t wait to get the fuck outta here.”

“Hear, hear.” Klay raises his fist in agreement. “We ready to go?”

“Just about.” Steph grins. “Unless you guys wanna say your goodbyes?”

Draymond blows a big, fat raspberry. “We’re not going off to war. We’ll see them again. Let’s fuckin’ go.”

Steph looks at his boyfriend, who shrugs. Then he looks at Kevin. “Did you have any last minute goodbyes?”

Kevin’s eyes immediately skim the hotel lobby looking for Russell. He zones in on Russ talking to James and Kyle Lowry. Butterflies erupt in his stomach at the sight of Russ’ toothy grin.

“Now’s your chance, bro.” Klay clears his throat. “If you wanna finally grow a pair and--”

“Klay!” Steph elbows him in the side. “Jesus.”

“Ow!” Klay rubs his side with a frown. “Was that an ice pick or your elbow?”

“Wanna find out?” Steph playfully wiggles his elbow at him threateningly. 

“We can go.” Kevin says decisively. “We don’t wanna miss our flight.”

Steph looks at his watch and frowns. “We have time if you wanna make it quick.”

“Ooh--”

“You’re so juvenile, Dray.” Steph scowls, but a smirk is tugging at the end of his mouth. “Dammit, that’s not even funny anymore!”

Draymond’s cackling encourages Klay’s snickers much to the chagrin of Steph. Kevin’s tuning them out, observing Russ and his interactions with their mutual friends. DeMar’s joined them now, glued to Kyle’s side and brought Jimmy Butler with him. 

His three teammates are already gathering their belongings to start the walk across the large lobby to the exit. Kevin secures his backpack and luggage before following them in a more sedate pace, his eyes still zeroed in on Russ because he is a lovesick fool.

Russ finally notices his staring and he wants to look away. He narrows his eyes curiously and starts nibbling his lip like he always does when he’s making a decision.

Kevin slows his walk down because he’s mesmerized and wants to muster up the courage to talk to him after their intense but necessary conversation last night. He eventually stops walking and stands there like a hopeless idiot. 

Russ sends him a small smile. It feels like a victory. Kevin cannot help the smile he returns and it’s a genuine one. It’s Russ’ favorite smile because it’s just for him. 

Russ turns away suddenly. It does take the wind out of his sails a bit but its progress and he is grateful. He can’t complain. 

Russ seems to tell his friends that he’s leaving and giving them his best. He walks over with his hands in his pockets. His strut always took Kevin’s breath away and weak in the knees. 

He stops about three feet away from Kevin. Kevin feels like he’s been sucked into Russ’ orbit. He doesn’t notice or care that everybody is looking at them. They’re waiting, curious, and eager to see what will unfold. Steph is clutching Klay’s arm excitedly.

“You headed out?” Russ asks, jutting his hip out as he widens his stance comfortably. 

“Yeah.” Kevin swallows audibly. “Got a flight to catch.” 

“Oh.” Russ nods. “Of course.”

“Yeah.” Kevin clears his throat. “How about you?”

“Not for a couple of hours.” Russ replies casually. “OKC isn’t nearly as far from here as San Francisco is.”

Kevin nods. “Yeah, That’s true.” 

Russ begins to tap his foot in the marble flooring of the hotel’s lobby. He starts to nibble his mouth again drawing in Kevin’s focus on his lips. He pulls his left hand out of his pocket and there’s something in it. Kevin isn’t quite sure.

Russ takes a few steps forward. Kevin follows suit. 

He holds his hand out and Kevin realizes that there’s a sheet of lined paper between his middle and index finger, like he’s holding out a tip or something. “Here.”

“What’s this?” Kevin tentatively reaches for the slip of paper.

Russ coughs awkwardly, it’s endearing. “It’s my new number. I changed it recently. I got a new phone, too.”

Kevin’s heart immediately begins to race. It must be like a hummingbird’s wings. “O-Oh?”

Russ nods like a bobblehead. “Yeah. I thought about it and I think you should have it..”

Kevin is momentarily speechless. “Thank you.”

“I un-blocked your number, too.” Russ reveals with a playful smirk on his lips. 

“Will you answer when I call?” Kevin asks, his heart in his throat. “Or text?”

“Will you call and text me?” Russ quirks an eyebrow.

“If that’s OK with you?” Kevin is unsure and he doesn’t want to assume.

Russ crosses his arms and juts out his hip in that irresistible way that drives Kevin crazy and the little shit knows it. “I’m expecting it.” 

Kevin takes a deep breath. “Then I’ll call and text you.”

Russ takes a step forward while Kevin is frozen in place. “And FaceTime.” 

It’s Kevin’s turn to look like a bobblehead. “And FaceTime.”

Russ takes another step. “You good with all that?”

Kevin wipes his palms on his sweatpants. His fingers are shaking. “Yeah.”

“You sure?” Russ is getting closer. “You don’t want to write it down?”

Kevin chuckles nervously. “I think I can handle it.”

Russ tilts his head and yes, he looks exhausted. He looks absolutely drained. And he has never looked better in Kevin’s eyes. “Hmm.”

Kevin doesn’t know what’s happening. He can’t read Russ’ mind. He knows Russ well but he is utterly lost in whatever Russ’ intentions are.

Russ is looking up at him and his eyes are still mesmerizing as the day they met. He’s so distracted by them he doesn’t notice when his hands move up his shirt and grab onto the collar. 

And he certainly doesn’t feel when Russ pulls him down but he definitely feels Russ’ mouth upon his own. 

Kevin immediately loses himself in the kiss and brings his hands up cradle Russ’ face and Russ’ hands wrap around his torso and dig into his back. They push their bodies as close as they possibly can without letting the other go. 

The wolf whistles, cheers and claps erupt around them. 

Steph is jumping up and down excitedly while Klay brings his fingers to his mouth and lets out a loud wolf whistle. Draymond gags exaggeratedly but even he has to smile at them. Kyle and DeMar are embracing each other happily. DeMar joins in on the catcalling and wolf whistling. Kyle is damn near squealing with happiness. 

James has his arms crossed, narrowed at the two of them but eases his posture. Russ had told him what happened the night before and slept on it. And he made his decision. He was happy for them but he was always going to side eye Kevin. So he joins in on the cheering.

The others who are stragglers, like LeBron James and Anthony Davis, are relieved to know that this saga was over. 

They separate when they have to take a breath. Their pupils are dilated with arousal, their lips reddened and their fingers aching to touch each other’s naked skin and get their hands back on each other after almost a year. 

“Russ.” Kevin’s voice is thick with lust. “Baby.”

Russ smiles, a sense of calm washing over him. 

Things weren’t perfect. They never will be. 

Things weren’t settled. But they will be. 

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> ooh, finally some emotionally charged nbgay fiction from me! this was fun, I can't front. hopefully I can replicate this lol leave a girl a comment if you wish xoxo


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